Sporks:Jules Rimet
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19:11 <@ elly> they claim to hail from a small island kingdom somewhere in the pacific 19:11 <@ elly> (and gave a detailed description of where it is on a map and such) 19:11 <@ elly> their hostname is israeli 19:11 <@ jdhore> that doesn't actually exist, mind 19:11 <@ elly> they are requesting to 'borrow' Jilles for two weeks to rebuild their machine god 19:12 <@ elly> (namely Jules Rimet, who as far as I can tell has been dead for 50 years) 19:12 <@ jdhore> elly: jilles can rebuild that/him 19:12 <@ elly> they are very, very insistent that they are 'not a nigger' 19:13 <@ elly> hell, here's the log 19:13 <@ elly> 20:02 <elly> he is your god? Why? O_o 19:13 <@ elly> 20:02 <Jovin> to rebuild Jules Rimet 19:13 <@ elly> 20:03 <Jovin> He is the one! 19:13 <@ elly> 20:03 <elly> Jules Rimet died before Jilles was born 19:13 <@ elly> 20:03 <Jovin> the great creator 19:13 <@ elly> 20:03 <elly> they are unrelated 19:13 <@ elly> 20:03 <Jovin> Jules Rimet 19:13 <@ elly> 20:03 <Jovin> is a machine 19:13 <@ elly> 20:04 <elly> is it? 19:13 <@ elly> 20:04 <Jovin> It was destroyed few days ago, that what was told on TV 19:13 <@ elly> 20:04 <Jovin> Jilles had created this beast 19:13 <@ elly> 20:04 <Jovin> only he can rebuild it 19:13 <@ elly> 20:04 <elly> where is it? 19:13 <@ elly> 20:06 <Jovin> Some people from Oxford destroyed it 19:13 <@ elly> 20:06 <Jovin> the spoke Russian 19:14 <@ elly> 20:06 <Jovin> god damn Ruskies! 19:14 <@ nenolod> what the fuck? 19:14 <@ elly> I am pretty sure 19:14 <@ elly> that this guy is tripping balls 19:14 <@ jdhore> Yeah, i think maybe 19:14 <@ elly> 20:12 <Jovin> ok 19:14 <@ elly> 20:12 <Jovin> Mr elly 19:14 <@ elly> 20:12 <Jovin> Im looking for the one who is ruling Jilles 19:14 <@ elly> 20:12 <Jovin> We want to loan him 19:14 <@ elly> 20:12 <Jovin> for 1-2 weeks 19:14 <@ elly> 20:12 <elly> Jilles is a person; he lives in the Netherlands; you cannot loan him 19:14 <@ elly> 20:13 <Jovin> and pay his master 19:15 <@ elly> 20:13 <Jovin> for his services 19:15 <@ elly> 20:13 <Jovin> Oh, but I have a quite big budget for this 19:15 <@ nenolod> jilles: apparently you are the new god of some island nation 19:16 <@ nenolod> jilles: congrats 19:16 <@ elly> AIUI 19:16 <@ elly> he is offering to purchase Jilles from us 19:16 <@ nenolod> oh 19:16 <@ nenolod> Jovin must be Ryan from DarkMyst then 19:16 <@ elly> 20:15 <Jovin> My king, Touche` 19:16 <@ elly> 20:15 <Jovin> we compence you 19:16 <@ elly> 20:15 <Jovin> next time you visit our Island 19:16 <@ elly> 20:15 <elly> where is your island? 19:16 <@ elly> 20:15 <Jovin> You'll have what ever you want 19:19 <@ elly> 20:16 <Jovin> it's between Taongi Island and Bikar Island 19:19 <@ elly> 20:16 <Jovin> we have here about 400 people 19:19 <@ elly> 20:16 <Jovin> and 33 families 19:19 <@ elly> 20:16 <Jovin> in our kingdom 19:19 <@ elly> 20:16 <Jovin> we have only 4 black people here 19:19 <@ elly> 20:16 <Jovin> really 19:19 <@ elly> 20:17 <Jovin> and they don't show a lot... 19:19 <@ nenolod> LOL. 19:19 <@ elly> ... 19:19 <@ elly> 20:17 <Jovin> you can see it here 19:19 <@ elly> 20:17 <Jovin> http://map.primorye.ru/raster/maps/australia/west_pacific_islands98.jpg 19:20 <@ elly> 20:17 <Jovin> we just want Jilles 19:20 <@ elly> 20:18 <Jovin> to rebuild 19:20 <@ elly> 20:18 <Jovin> Jules Rimet... 19:20 <@ elly> 20:18 <Jovin> :/ 19:20 <@ elly> 20:18 <elly> what kind of machine is Jules Rimet? 19:20 <@ elly> 20:18 <Jovin> you see, in our Island 19:20 <@ elly> 20:18 <Jovin> our males 19:20 <@ elly> 20:18 <Jovin> barely get married 19:20 <@ elly> 20:18 <Jovin> with females 19:20 <@ elly> 20:18 <Jovin> you can see why... 19:20 <@ elly> this guy must be tripping 19:20 <@ elly> I can't make heads or tails of this 19:20 <@ nenolod> theory: 19:21 <@ nenolod> and mind, this is just the biggest crock of bullshit I can come up with at present 19:21 <@ elly> the two islands they mention /do/ exist, but there are no islands between them on the map; on the other hand, their claimed island is quite small and might not be mapped, since it's in the ass-end of the Marshalls 19:21 <@ elly> 20:18 <elly> Can you explain why? 19:21 <@ elly> 20:19 <Jovin> because of it, JR was our proffesional haven 19:21 <@ elly> 20:19 <elly> what is it used for? 19:21 <@ elly> 20:20 <Jovin> it used to be our virtual reality 19:21 <@ elly> 20:20 <Jovin> you see? 19:22 <@ elly> 20:20 <Jovin> Like matrix 19:22 <@ jdhore> elly: `according to what i can see, Taongi Island doesn't exist 19:22 <@ elly> 20:20 <Jovin> because of our social problems with the females 19:22 <@ elly> 20:20 <elly> Aha. 19:22 <@ nenolod> theory: in the future, jilles invents holographic projection technology, and this Jovin person has come back from the future to acquire the jilles in order to secure this holographic projection technology 19:22 <@ nenolod> this seems extremely unlikely, so it must be true. 19:22 <@ elly> jdhore: it's an old alias for Bokak 19:22 <@ jdhore> nenolod: before jilles invents it so he can be the one to make billions of dollars off of it? 19:22 <@ elly> jdhore: also, it's Taongi Atoll, not Taongi Island 19:22 <@ jdhore> ah 19:22 <@ elly> 20:21 <Jovin> know, you can see our problem 19:22 <@ elly> 20:21 <Jovin> to atract the local females 19:22 <@ elly> 20:21 <Jovin> JR 19:22 <@ elly> 20:21 <Jovin> was anything to us 19:22 <@ elly> 20:21 <Jovin> until this fucking RUSKIES 19:22 <@ elly> 20:21 <Jovin> had come 19:23 <@ jdhore> elly: I thought he said the British fucked up "JR"? 19:23 <@ nenolod> THE BRITISH FUCKED UP JR MISTER HORELICK 19:23 <@ elly> no 19:23 <@ elly> people from oxford who spoke russian 19:23 <@ jdhore> elly: that'd be British 19:24 <@ elly> 20:22 <Jovin> don't know 19:24 <@ elly> 20:22 <Jovin> Jilles know 19:24 <@ elly> 20:22 <Jovin> knows 19:24 <@ jdhore> elly: The town of Oxford, in Oxfordshire, UK 19:24 <@ elly> (in re 20:22 <elly> what did they do to it? 19:24 <@ elly> ) 19:24 <@ nenolod> this is hilarious 19:24 <@ jdhore> pretty much 19:24 <@ nenolod> where is jilles 19:24 <@ nenolod> theory 2: Jovin is from sorcerynet 19:24 <@ nenolod> 'nuff said 19:25 <@ elly> 20:23 <Jovin> #King_Touche` 19:25 <@ nenolod> 19:24 [SorceryNet] There is no such nick Jovin 19:25 <@ elly> yay spam 19:25 <@ nenolod> 19:25 [SorceryNet] Channel Users Name 19:25 <@ nenolod> 19:25 [SorceryNet] #King_Touche`: No such nick/channel 19:25 <@ nenolod> 19:25 [SorceryNet] End of /LIST 19:25 <@ nenolod> 19:25 [SorceryNet] Channel Users Name 19:25 <@ nenolod> 19:25 [SorceryNet] #King_Touche: No such nick/channel 19:25 <@ nenolod> 19:25 [SorceryNet] End of /LIST 19:26 <@ elly> so 19:26 <@ elly> drugs or insanity 19:26 <@ elly> what's the betting 19:26 <@ jdhore> drugs 19:26 <@ jdhore> NO ONE'S that insane 19:26 <@ elly> same here 19:26 <@ elly> the question then becomes, "which drugs?" 19:26 <@ nenolod> 19:26 Irssi: Starting query in staticbox with Jovin 19:26 <@ nenolod> 19:26 < nenolod> hi yes 19:26 <@ nenolod> 19:26 < nenolod> can i help you with something? 19:26 <@ nenolod> 19:26 < Jovin> sorry for all this problems 19:26 <@ nenolod> 19:26 < Jovin> Im really sorry man 19:26 <@ jdhore> elly: hmm...LSD? 19:27 <@ stitch> heroin 19:27 <@ elly> also 19:27 <@ nenolod> 19:26 < Jovin> I come from a litlle Island, you see? 19:27 <@ nenolod> 19:27 < nenolod> yes yes 19:27 <@ nenolod> 19:27 < nenolod> you're looking for the Jilles 19:27 <@ nenolod> 19:27 < Jovin> yeah!!! 19:27 <@ nenolod> 19:27 < Jovin> exactly 19:27 <@ elly> do you guys think we can sell jilles to this person 19:27 <@ elly> and if we do, what will jilles do 19:27 <@ nenolod> elly: we'll sell him a MADE IN CHINA clone 19:27 <@ stitch> elly: i'll just 19:27 <@ jdhore> elly: I think that might be illegal 19:27 <@ stitch> steal jilles back 19:27 <@ elly> jdhore: maybe 19:27 <@ elly> stitch: oh 19:27 <@ stitch> or what neno said 19:28 <@ elly> on the other hand 19:28 <@ elly> actually, no 19:28 <@ nenolod> 19:27 < Jovin> oh 19:28 <@ nenolod> 19:27 < Jovin> thank you so much 19:28 <@ nenolod> 19:28 < Jovin> you are hes boss 19:28 <@ nenolod> 19:28 < Jovin> right? 19:28 <@ nenolod> 19:28 < Jovin> I want to loan him 19:28 <@ nenolod> 19:28 < Jovin> for 7-13 days 19:28 <@ nenolod> 19:28 < Jovin> For a great payment 19:28 <@ nenolod> 19:28 < nenolod> that requires a $23.8 million security deposit 19:28 <@ nenolod> 19:28 < nenolod> the Jilles is state of the art hardware. 19:28 <@ elly> there is no other hand 19:29 <@ elly> nenolod: <333333333333333 19:29 <@ nenolod> 19:28 < Jovin> american dollars you mean? 19:29 <@ nenolod> 19:29 < nenolod> yes. not that nigerian crap. 19:29 <@ nenolod> 19:29 < Jovin> it's our 3 years Island budhet 19:29 <@ nenolod> 19:29 < Jovin> budget 19:30 <@ elly> 20:28 <elly> I see that you are talking with nenolod 19:30 <@ elly> 20:29 <Jovin> not at all 19:30 <@ elly> 20:29 <elly> nenolod is a renowned dealer in Jilles 19:31 <@ nenolod> 19:29 < Jovin> Yeah! forgot to tell you 19:31 <@ nenolod> 19:29 < Jovin> we are all white 19:31 <@ nenolod> 19:29 < Jovin> we have only 4 black people 19:31 <@ nenolod> 19:30 < Jovin> and they aren't violent 19:31 <@ nenolod> 19:30 < Jovin> nenold? 19:31 <@ nenolod> 19:30 < Jovin> some of your servants 19:31 <@ nenolod> 19:30 < Jovin> someone called 19:31 <@ nenolod> 19:30 < Jovin> elly 19:31 <@ nenolod> 19:30 < Jovin> now tries to ask me 19:31 <@ nenolod> 19:31 < Jovin> about our conversation 19:31 <@ elly> :D 19:31 <@ elly> SHE KNOWS OUR SECRETS 19:31 <@ elly> 20:30 <Jovin> he seems to be a little bit crazy 19:31 elly changed the topic of #opers to: please update to charybdis 3.2.1 when it gets released | eu-de.hub is up - european servers are advised to link to it see dotslasher for more details | If you want a @staticbox.net email address message dotslasher (not that anyone will ever use it but meh :D) | elly added as global op | 20:30 <Jovin> he seems to be a little bit crazy 19:32 <@ nenolod> 19:31 < nenolod> she appears to be spying on my PM windows again. i must teach her discipline. 19:32 <@ jdhore> LOL 19:32 <@ stitch> looooool 19:32 <@ elly> 20:30 <Jovin> he said 19:32 <@ elly> 20:30 <Jovin> he wants a deposit 19:32 <@ elly> 20:30 <Jovin> of 24 milions 19:32 <@ elly> 20:31 <Jovin> for Jilles 19:32 <@ elly> 20:31 <elly> that is a little bit too high for this jilles 19:32 <@ elly> 20:31 <elly> say 20 millions at most 19:32 <@ elly> 20:31 <Jovin> dollars?? 19:32 <@ elly> 20:31 <elly> yes 19:33 <@ nenolod> yeah technically this Jilles is stolen PDPC property 19:33 <@ nenolod> "oops" 19:33 & stitch removes that "Property of PDPC" metal barcode sticker from jilles 19:33 <@ stitch> wait what? 19:34 <@ nenolod> 19:33 < Jovin> ok 19:34 <@ nenolod> 19:33 < Jovin> you personal problems 19:34 <@ nenolod> 19:33 < Jovin> I won't be telling you what to do 19:34 <@ nenolod> 19:34 < nenolod> i certainly hope not. then you wouldn't get the Jilles. 19:34 <@ elly> 20:31 <Jovin> but why deposit? 19:34 <@ elly> 20:32 <elly> jilles is very expensive 19:34 <@ elly> 20:32 <Jovin> why not a sallary 19:34 <@ elly> 20:32 <elly> if he is damaged, we lose a lot of money 19:34 <@ elly> 20:32 <Jovin> but it's human 19:34 <@ elly> 20:32 <Jovin> how he can be damaged? 19:34 <@ elly> 20:32 <elly> like 19:34 <@ elly> 20:33 <elly> if he loses an arm or an eye or something 19:34 <@ elly> 20:33 <elly> he becomes very impaired 19:34 <@ elly> 20:33 <Jovin> im realy baffeld now 19:35 <@ elly> 20:33 <Jovin> im realy baffeld now 19:35 <@ elly> 20:33 <elly> well 19:35 <@ elly> 20:34 <elly> can you guarantee his safety somehow? 19:35 <@ elly> 20:34 <elly> if so maybe we can do it without the deposit 19:35 <@ elly> 20:34 <Jovin> sure 19:36 <@ elly> 20:34 <Jovin> he'll fly 19:36 <@ elly> 20:34 <Jovin> by our royal plane 19:36 <@ elly> 20:34 <Jovin> and he can bring hes family 19:36 <@ elly> 20:34 <Jovin> and keepers 19:36 <@ elly> 20:34 <Jovin> with him 19:36 <@ nenolod> 19:35 < Jovin> you're hes employer 19:36 <@ nenolod> 19:35 < Jovin> right? 19:36 <@ nenolod> 19:35 < nenolod> at any rate, dead peasant insurance is illegal in the US now 19:36 <@ nenolod> 19:36 < nenolod> so we need a $24m deposit 19:36 <@ nenolod> lol 19:37 <@ nenolod> elly: god only knows what he is PMing jilles 19:37 jilles jilles@jilles.staff 19:37 ¤ ircname ¤ Jilles Tjoelker 19:37 ¤ channels ¤ #mowgli @#staticbox #atheme-project @#opers @#charybdis @#help #freebsd @#juped @#atheme 19:37 ¤ server ¤ alfred.staticbox.net [Serious Business.] 19:37 ¤ ¤ IRC Operator 19:37 ¤ ¤ is using a secure connection 19:37 ¤ hostname ¤ turtle.stack.nl 131.155.140.132 19:37 ¤ idle ¤ 0 days 4 hours 12 mins 17 secs [signon: Mon May 31 22:39:38 2010] 19:37 ¤ account ¤ jilles 19:37 End of WHOIS 19:37 <@ elly> yeah 19:37 <@ elly> I am really curious 19:37 <@ elly> too bad I am not spying on his pm window 19:38 <@ elly> 20:35 <elly> hm 19:38 <@ elly> 20:35 <elly> what kind of salary are you offering? 19:38 <@ elly> 20:35 <Jovin> money 19:38 <@ elly> 20:35 <Jovin> and our export 19:38 <@ elly> 20:35 <elly> like 19:38 <@ elly> 20:35 <elly> how much? 19:38 <@ elly> 20:35 <elly> and what is your export? 19:38 <@ elly> 20:36 <Jovin> about 1,500 dollars a day 19:38 <@ elly> 20:36 <Jovin> and our export 19:38 <@ elly> 20:37 <Jovin> Dolphins, for example... pink pearls 19:38 <@ elly> man 19:39 <@ elly> we could rent Jilles to a pacific island nation for $1500 per day and a pod of dolphins 19:39 <@ elly> how can we lose 19:39 <@ nenolod> <insert dolphinsex.org joke here> 19:39 <@ elly> 20:37 <elly> we will consider your offer 19:39 <@ elly> 20:37 <Jovin> ok my friend 19:39 <@ elly> 20:37 <Jovin> you see 19:39 <@ elly> 20:37 <Jovin> our females 19:39 <@ elly> 20:38 <Jovin> will be happy 19:39 <@ elly> 20:38 <Jovin> too 19:39 <@ elly> so that's why they want Jilles. 19:39 <@ elly> Their females are unhappy. 19:39 <@ nenolod> they want a SEX MACHINE 19:39 <@ elly> thus jilles, presumably 19:40 <@ nenolod> i wonder if we can blame this incident on OpenSEX 19:40 <@ elly> 20:38 <Jovin> ok? 19:40 <@ elly> 20:39 <elly> your offer has been submitted, we shall discuss it at our next meeting 19:40 <@ stitch> jilles: reproducing would not be that bad of a thing 19:40 <@ elly> 20:39 <elly> check back in 3 days in #staticbox 19:41 <@ elly> 20:39 <Jovin> ok 19:41 <@ elly> 20:39 <Jovin> I will 19:41 <@ elly> 20:39 <Jovin> thank you so much 19:41 <@ elly> 20:39 <elly> good day 19:41 <@ stitch> it would probably even out the amount of retarded shit on IRC within the next 20 years 19:41 <@ elly> 20:39 <Jovin> and take care with Jilles 19:41 <@ elly> 20:39 <Jovin> !!! 19:41 <@ elly> 20:39 <elly> we always do 19:41 <@ elly> 20:39 <Jovin> Keep him well 19:41 <@ elly> if I don't remember this in 3 days and the dude shows up in #staticbox, someone remind me 19:42 <@ elly> okay 19:42 <@ elly> who wants to be at the meeting'